Women are better than men.
There. I said it.
I know, I know. I’m not supposed to say things like that. As a good little feminist I’m supposed to say that I don’t hate men! That I don’t think women are better than men! That I love men and want them at the forefront of my feminism!
But that’s not true. That’s not true at all.
See, I hate men (well, actually I hate straight, cis, white, rich men – but that doesn’t sound quite as catchy). And, if I’m perfectly honest, I think women are better than men. Do you know why?
No woman has never sent me an unsolicited picture of their genitals on the internet.
A woman has never cornered me in a club and then called me a bitch because I wouldn’t get off with her.
No woman has never told me she wanted to rape me.
A woman has never followed me home in the dark.
And that’s not all.
Did you know that private tech companies run by women earn a 35% higher return on investment than those run by men?
Or that code written by women is more likely to be approved by tech-experts?
Or that, on average, businesses run by women report higher pre-tax profit than those run by men?
See, in a wide variety of ways, women really are better than men.
But not because they were born superior. No. Women are better than men because they have to be. If the 2016 US election taught us anything, it’s that women have to be more qualified, more eloquent, and more ambitious than men to even get a look in.
When women grow up being held back and blocked at every corner, they develop a resilience that mediocre white men never have to. They learn to work hard and try harder. To always persevere, even when the entire world is telling them to back down. They learn to shout louder and speak more intelligently. They learn that if they want to get anywhere in life, they have to be unequivocally better than men; otherwise they stand no chance of succeeding. And even then, they still might fail.
Women aren’t better than men because of science of evolution.
Women are better than men because the patriarchy has forced us to be.
Of course, this isn’t to say that all women are saints. White women are racist. Cis women are transphobic. Straight women are lesbophobic. Rich women are classist. Women are capable of rape and domestic violence and murder and other terrible things.
Nor is it to say that all men need to be burned at the stake. Hell, I’m engaged to a straight white man. I think he’s wonderful.
But in general? Men are terrible; and women are pretty damn fantastic.
And I shouldn’t have to pretend otherwise to make my feminism palatable to you.