Ugh, I much prefer boys to girls. They’re just so much less bitchy!
I’m not like other girls. I HATE drama.
Feminists are sooo annoying. Men and women are already equal! Bloody Feminazis!
These are all things I used to say. I know, I feel a little bit disgusted too. But the truth is, I used to be the complete antithesis to the angry feminist I am now. And do you know why? Because I had internalised a lifetime’s worth of misogyny.
See, I grew up being taught that the patriarchy was a thing of the past. That the Suffragettes had done everything that needed to be done, and that feminists were just unnecessarily angry. I was also taught that other girls were my competition, and that to truly succeed in life I ought to distance myself from them as much as possible. I thought the ultimate goal was to be considered ‘one of the boys’.
Thankfully, the internet opened my eyes to my foolish ways, and I eventually evolved into the angry-shouty feminist I am today. Which means I now am a pro at recognising internalised misogyny in other women.
So, if you think you or a friend could be suffering from internalised misogyny, here are some signs to look out for.
1. You think all girls are bitchy
I went to an all girl’s school, and I was convinced that all girls were bitchy. I used to lament that my life would be so much easier if I were at the boy’s school – because guy’s are sooooo much less drama!
Turns out, girl’s aren’t bitchy. Girls are wonderful. Boys are are actually pretty terrible. The only reason people think girls are so much more bitchy than boys is because society has taught us that women who stand up for themselves are bitches.
2. You blame girls when really you should be blaming boys
When I was 17, my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl. Instead of hating the boyfriend, however, I wasted a lot of energy on hating the girl.
Why? Because society had taught me that boys will be boys, but girls should know better. I believed that the girl in question had purposely set out to ruin my life and steal my man, while the boy in question had just made a mistake. Turns out, the girl in question was actually a total gem (and one of my friends now), and the boy was an abusive bastard. You live and learn.
3. You think girls that have causal sex are sluts and whores
If you see a girl out and about, flaunting what her mamma gave her, and taking guys home left right and centre and your first thought is ‘What a slut’, you’re probably suffering from internalised misogyny.
Especially if you see a guy doing the same thing and your first thought is ‘What a legend’.
4. You think women asked to get raped
If you’re a woman and you believe that other women get raped because they’re sluts, or because they were drunk, or because they were wearing a short skirt, then you, my friend, are suffering from internalised misogyny.
You have absorbed the patriarchal idea that women are to blame for the crimes on men. And that is very sad. I’m very sorry for you.
5. You think men are innately better than women at Maths/Science/Sport/insert-other-male-dominated-field-here
There’s no denying it, certain industries are dominated by men.
But if you think that’s because men are inherently better at those fields than women, then I’ve got news for you honey.
Men dominate certain fields because centuries of patriarchal bullshit has barred women from those fields. And if you think otherwise, you’ve got a lot of internalised misogyny that you need to work on.
Those are just 5 signs that you may be suffering from internalised misogyny. If you relate to any of the things I’ve mentioned here, please – I beg of you – take the time to educate yourself on gender, feminism, and inequality. Please.