I feel like 2016 was the year that the body confidence movement really took off. Everywhere I turned last year people were talking about body confidence. I can only hope that trend continues into 2017 and beyond.
What’s rarely talked about when it comes to body confidence, however, is sex. We focus all our energy on encouraging people to feel beautiful, but we never encourage people to feel sexy. Probably because the body confidence movement is primarily (or at least should be primarily) centred around fat people. And we all know fat people couldn’t possibly be sexy or desirable, right?!
Feeling desirable and sexy is something I personally struggle with a lot. Cute? Sure. Attractive? Of course! But sexy? Never.
I think there are many reasons why people – women in particular – might struggle to feel sexy, even if their body confidence is through the roof. For a start, women have been conditioned from birth to believe that sex is something women do for men, not themselves. How they feel then isn’t important. Who cares if they feel sexy, as long as the men around them are having a good time?
It’s a shame, really. Because body confidence should encompass your whole body, at all times. That means feeling just as confident about your vagina as you do about your thighs. That means feeling just as confident in the bedroom as you do on the beach. All bodies are good bodies – all of the time. And I believe that everybody deserves to feel that way.
So when Unbound, a sexual lifestyle company created by women, for women, got in touch and asked if I wanted to curate my own collection of sexual lifestyle products for their website, I immediately knew I wanted to create a collection that centred around body positivity.
Unbound are an amazing organisation that aim to make sex better for all women. Their website sells a wide range of sexual lifestyle products from toys, to lingerie, to cosmetics, and they also offer a discrete subscription box to help women get their fix without feeling overwhelmed or intimidated by the wealth of products and companies out there. So obviously I jumped at the chance to curate a collection of their products for all you lovely readers!
So today I thought I’d share with you some of my favourite picks, and why I believe they help inspire body confidence in the bedroom! (And if you keep reading to the end you can also get 20% of ALL products on the Unbound website. So keep reading!)
Lace Trim Period Panty
Let’s face it, it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re bleeding from your vagina. Not only are you tired, grumpy, bloated, and spooty, but you also can’t wear your favourite underwear cos, y’know, blood.
I’ve been interested in trying out period underwear for a while, as I want to have more environmentally sustainable periods, but I also don’t think moon cups are for me, so when I saw Unbound sold these ADORABLE period panties, I couldn’t resist including them in collection. There’s something about wearing cute underwear that just fills me with confidence, and why shouldn’t I experience that feeling during my period?
Almost Naked Lubricant
If you’re not using lube when you have sex, honestly I don’t understand you. I sometimes struggle with dryness even when I want to have sex (one of the downsides to my contraceptive pill), and lube has been a godsend for those occasions. It’s also done wonders for my confidence, cos let me tell you, nothing shatters the sexy feeling quite like being sore and uncomfortable during sex.
This lube by Good Clean Fun is a water-based lube that has also been found to be one of the safest lubes on the market. It’s also 100% vegan and cruelty free (and edible!), so it ticks all the boxes for me.
Okay, I’ll be honest here, I included this one mainly for me. As you may or may not know, I got engaged on Christmas Day 2016. When I saw this gorgeous pearl garter I just knew I had to include it (and buy it myself…) to help me feel extra confidence on my wedding night.
I firmly believe that the best way to feel confident about something is to be knowledgeable about it. And the same goes for body confidence. Vaginas get a bad wrap, to the point where grown ass adults refuse to even call them by their name; and thanks to porn many vagina-owners feel self-conscious about their reproductive parts. What better way to banish stigma and get accustomed to vaginas than to hang them on your wall in the form of a handy organisational vagina calendar?!
Sometimes, the reason we don’t feel sexy is because society has taught us that unless we’re a perfect size 6, our bodies cannot be sexy. Whilst the ultimate goal is for every person to feel confident with their body – especially their naked body – that is a hard goal to achieve. Sometimes, we just don’t want to bare all, even to a trusted partner.
This gorgeous lace robe can help you cover up slightly while still feeling super sexy and sensual. I’ve found that lingerie that covers me up slightly helps me when my lumps and bumps are getting me down. Of course, it’s £115, so I can’t actually afford this robe, but hey – a girl can dream!
The lovely people at Unbound were also kind enough to create an exclusive discount code for you lovely readers. So if anything tickles your fancy (quite literally in some cases!) just use the code PETTICOATSANDPATRIARCHY20 at checkout to get 20% off your order! The code is valid for all products (apart from the subscription boxes) – not just those included in my collection – and will work until the end of April 2017. So here’s to feeling body confident AND sexy this 2017!