Arrogance and Ambition: On Owning Your Shit as a Woman

Arrogance and Ambition: On Owning Your Shit as a Woman

Let me tell you a secret – I’m really fucking awesome.

I know, I know, I’m committing a cardinal sin by telling you that, but it’s true. I am awesome.

Now let’s be clear here, I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m more selfish than I’d like to be. I have a temper. I can’t draw to save my life. But overall? Yeah. Really Fucking Awesome.

As a woman, I’m not supposed to say that. I’m supposed to mutter something apologetically about how occasionally I do some cool stuff, but really there are lots of people (read: men) out there who are smarter and cooler and better than me.

As a millennial, I’m supposed to be #relatable. I’m supposed to Tweet jokingly about how useless I am at adulthood, about how I don’t know why anyone has trusted me enough to give me a full time job with actual responsibility, about how mediocre my writing and my blog is.

[bctt tweet=”As a woman, I’m supposed be meek. As a millennial, I’m supposed to be #relatable” username=”oawoodward”]

But none of that is true. And more importantly, I’ll never get where I want to go if I don’t own up to the fact that I’m smart and talented and knowledgeable.

This is something that the lovely Fiona taught me in a recent blog post of hers, I want it all. In it, Fiona talked about the importance of owning your shit, going after what you want, and – most importantly – having the confidence to know that you deserve and are capable of great things. She said a lot of great things in that post, but one phrase in particular really stood out:

People have no reason not to believe you if you tell them that you’re mediocre.

Which is true. If I go around acting like I’m a crap writer, no one is going to give me opportunities. I’m never going to get promoted at work, or make an awesome career move, or become successful with this blog, or do any of the amazing things I want to do in life. If I tell people I’m shit, they’ll think I’m shit.

If, on the other hand, I tell people that I’m awesome (and, obviously, back up my words with awesome actions), then they might just take a chance on me.

[bctt tweet=”‘If I tell people I’m shit, they’ll think I’m shit'” username=”oawoodward”]

This is particularly important for women. Women grow up being told to be ambitious, but not too ambitious. To be confident, but not arrogant. To go after the things they want in life, but not to be ruthless about it.

Men, on the other hand, are taught from an early age that the world is theirs for the taking – all they have to do is ask.

Which means more often than not, mediocre men are running the world, and women are left on the side lines, mumbling about how if they keep their head down and work hard enough, someone (read: a man) will give them the opportunity they’ve been waiting for.

But enough’s enough. Women – you are awesome. You are talented, and smart, and knowledgeable, and deserving, and you can have whatever you want. It’s not going to be easy; hell, it’s going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You’re going to have to battle more battles than 20 mediocre men will. You’re going to have to fight against a world that thinks you’re inferior. But you can have it all – as long as you ask for it.

So here I am, asking for it. Yes, I’m a good writer. Yes, I’m a smart woman. Yes, I’m ambitious. Yes, I’m probably a bit arrogant. And yes, I am going to have it all.

[bctt tweet=”Women – you are amazing. Now own that shit.” username=”oawoodward”]

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